I was not created to be her.

“You can’t find your purpose if you’re too busy trying to make it look like hers.”

I saw this on Jordan Lee Dooley’s page several years ago and it’s crazy how many times this quote seems to find its way back to me. It’s one of my favorites because it calls me out EVERY.TIME…Often times more than I would like to admit. I compare, I overthink, and then I hit the repeat button…100 times. Somedays this is more than others, but lately I have been comparing just about every aspect of my life. In fact, I’ve been doing this so much, that I couldn’t even get myself to write my first blog post. I was too wrapped up in the fear of what “hers” would be.

Her?

Yeah, her. I think we all have a “her” in our life. And if you are like me, you have more than one. It’s the girl who:

Her Instagram is perfect.

Resume is killer.

Outfits are adorable.

Words are perfect.

Relationship is goals.

Business is thriving.

Her life is way more put together than mine.

I have been so over comparing my life that it almost has me stuck inside my own head. It’s like I sat still instead of going for it, because sometimes (most times) if I can’t do something 110% I just don’t want to do it at all and risk not being as good as her.

Last week I was reading a devotional about Moses and immediately Jordan’s quote came to my mind.

The devotion read: Oh my Lord, please send anyone else. (Exodus 4:13 NLT)

The Lord was telling Moses that he will be the one to deliver His people and Moses starts freaking out that he wasn’t qualified to do this job. The job that God created FOR. HIM.

The verse says, But Moses pleaded with the Lord, “I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue tied and my words get tangled.” (Exodus 4:10 NLT)

It hit me all over again. How many times do I do that exact same thing? I think about how she is way more qualified, way more liked/admired/put together. I say I can’t do something because I feel like it won’t measure up or sound as good as her.

Often times I wonder why would God call me to some of the places and things that are happening before me right now when I am not qualified to do any of them? Just like Moses felt.

So, here is the advice I’m trying to remind myself and want to remind you:

I’m. not. her.

I’ll never be her. I was not created to be her.

And the more time I spend trying to be like her, is time I’m wasting.

Just like God tells Moses in that chapter, who are we to doubt what God can do with us? It states in 4:11 Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is not I, the Lord?

How I interpret that-- who am I to question what God has in store for me? That if He has called me to this place, He is with me, preparing me, and helping me all the way.

But guess what sis, she too probably has a long list of hers. Girls that she is trying to keep up with, impress, and prove she is worthy to. So next time you look at her Instagram feed and compare the awesome poses, friends, caption, or job, I want you to remember this: If you keep copying her mission and purpose, you are missing out on all the people you were called to influence just by being you.

Here are some ways I have been dealing with comparison:

1. Delete it. Take a legit break from Instagram. Just like Samara talked about in her last blog we create habits and paths. I took a week break from Instagram and it was crazy how much just that little week helped me reset.

2. Accountability. Two things:

a. Talk it out. Sometimes it takes an outside perspective from those closest to us to help sort facts from those thoughts that aren’t true.

b. Make goals and write them down. Want to do something? DO IT. Making a to-do list has helped me see the areas I can control and work on.

3. Lastly, but honestly it shouldn’t be last at all. PRAY ABOUT IT. It doesn’t have to be a long, elaborate list. Just… honest. My go-to sentence in times of doubt is, “God, please take these thoughts away.” Try starting your prayers with this.

Comparison isn’t something that disappears for me with just the deleting of an app or someone telling me “stop worrying about her” and I’m guessing it isn’t something that will just magically disappear from your life either. But I hope that hearing someone else is thinking those same exact thoughts helps to know you aren’t alone.

Keep shining your light. God has a purpose for your story.

Xo,

Carley